Social Media Helping People Become “Givers of Everything”: My Experience with CouchSurfing

When you hear of yet another social media site popping up its easy to put the mental spam filters up, but when I heard about a site that allowed travelers to connect with like minded people and give them a place to stay, it really peaked my interest for its huge potential to generate a lot of goodness in the world. 

In the Kindatta Sutta the Buddha implied that giving residence is the highest of mundane gifts. “A giver of food is a giver of strength. A giver of clothes, a giver of beauty. A giver of a vehicle, a giver of ease. A giver of a lamp, a giver of vision. And the one who gives a residence, is the one who is a giver of everything. . . .” (SN 1.42).

Giving a residence, even if just temporary has the power to generate a lot of good energy. It is one of the reasons why I love hosting guests, but if you're like me, out in the Midwest away from the popular coasts, its not so often that people already in my CA based social network want to come visit. Thats where CouchSurfing comes in.

CouchSurfing allows users to set up profiles, like most sites, allowing users to expound on their personalities, but the unique feature of couch surfing is that it allows users to talk about the space they have available for other users to stay in. People then can search other users based on their location, ability to host, interests, etc.  and email to request to stay. 

For many the prospect of spending the night at a complete stranger’s or allowing a complete stranger to stay in one’s own home may seem extremely scary. After all, both host and couch surfer are making themselves vulnerable to abuse: stalking, violence, or just plain awkwardness. 

However, I find something really quite beautiful about the exchange. In a very real, concrete and direct way it allows people to open their lives to others. In many cultures it is considered a great honor to host a weary traveller. Some Hindus believe that a guest is a form of god and should be treated as such, even when they are not personally known. However, in this modern age where we are daily bombarded with stories of the cruel and degrading treatment humans can perpetuate on each other, most people have lost the sense of humanity that would welcome a weary traveller in need of a place to sleep into their home.  CouchSurfing seeks to change all this. 

More than simply giving people a free stay, it is about transforming the world into becoming a more understanding place and fostering personal growth. The potential for cultural exchange is huge. Not to mention that it supports a bedrock of spiritual practice: generosity.

My personal experience with CouchSurfing has been very enjoyable thus far. My first guest was a young woman for Iowa who was in town for just a night. At first I was a little nervous and apprehensive because I felt a little busy at the time and didn't think that it would be a great stay because of it. I could tell my guest was a little nervous too, but after we talked and put each other at ease I felt genuinely happy to have her around. My girlfriend and I took her out around town and tried to treat her like family. Looking back it was a very joyful time, and I very much look forward to hosting more people through CouchSurfing. I recommend others looking to explore ways to open your life and practice generosity try it out too.

Teachings from a Venerable Monk and Former Midwest Lawyer: Review of Questions from the City- Answers from the Forest by Ajahn Sumano Bhikkhu

There are only a handful of books that I read with such captivating interest as Ajahn Sumano’s Q&A book. I first heard of Ajahn Sumano while perusing through Youtube videos, I watched one of the Ajahn Chah videos and saw a video titled “Monk in the Mountain” in the sidebar. That video relayed a portion of the life story of this monk and contained compelling and novel answers to some of the basic and more intermediate questions in Buddhism- what is happiness, what do I when I see through the emptiness of materialism.

Ajahn Sumano graduated from law school in Chicago (not sure which) and was a successful businessman before giving up the worldy life and donning the robes. But what is more fascinating than his life story are AS’ teachings. Throughout the book AS takes great care to provide answers not fashioned solely from Buddhist texts and doctrine, but rather from insightful and personal life experience. The depth of his wisdom echoes in aphorisms such as: “simplicity is sanity” and “You have to remember that whatever you do, wherever you go, you go there and do it with the mind as is.“

AS reiterates throughout the book that most people do not understand the real meaning of Dukha or stress/suffering because most people have no idea of how much of their live is spent floundering in unskillful mental states such as doubt and anxiety. He criticizes the conventional world for promoting outward knowledge and ignoring or giving short shrift to the importance of the cultivation of inner wisdom. He even sometimes refers to it, in the strongest terms, as a conspiracy (he uses this term in another book Monk in the Mountain), or at least an ultimately incorrect conventional understanding. For example when a student asked why bother meditating when the mind spins wildly Ajahn Sumano answers that a meditator should not be discouraged from the thought that it is a waste of time because time does not exist. AS says once one trains themselves in this way the mind will automatically begin to settle down and will learn to more effectively deal with agitation and disturbance in the mind. This makes practical sense and also corresponds with the axiom in neuroscience: “neurons that fire together wire together.”

The difficulty in reading Questions from the City is that AS' perspective is so unconventional and goes against the grain so much that you may have to take (if you accept at all) some of his propositions on respect for his authority, especially his opinions on karma and rebirth. Nevertheless, even those who do not believe in rebirth can also interpret his rhetoric as encouraging mediators to abandon their preconceptions about the cycle of life and death. Another core theme throughout this book is to encourage sincere inquiry into the reality of life, without extra desires, anxieties, or delusions. AS’ wisdom reminds the reader to abandon their preconceived notions on what meditation should be, and even how life should be, and instead just  focus on understanding the fundamental truths of life: all experience is inconstant.

In all this is more of a perspective widening book rather than a meditation manual. I strongly encourage Questions from the City- Answers from the Forest to anyone interested in reading a perspective from a meditator who clearly has a tremendous experience and wisdom.